Indymedia York

Families Need Fathers will be opening a local branch for the York/Leeds/Bradford areas. It is a non gender specific campaigning charity which strives to support and advise parents who have separated and have been excluded from the care of their children, usually by hostile former partners. It challenges the law in its present form and is currently lobbying for a debate on the issue of shared parenting in Parliament.

I know this will be a controversial issue for this list as many will probably adhere to the myth that most "absent" parents are abusive or dangerous or there is some "reason" why they have been excluded. This is, in the vast majority of cases, simply not the case. Obviously, as anyone who has separated from a long term partner, it is not an easy or pleasurable experience, and can often be fraught with all sorts of emotional issues, especially where children are concerned. The law in its current state basically invites parents to go to war. It then gives one parent a large stick, called "control" of the children, with which to beat the other parent! Speaking personally, this is easily the worst experience of my life. But, because it's your child, you take it.

It is a taboo which needs to be challenged, and whilst the political will is not there, significant movement in the judiciary is supportive of such changes. N.B. Shared parenting is now the norm in Sweden, Holland, Italy, Spain, and recently was brought into law in Australia. Again, the point of this is not to force children or parents into the clutches of abusive partners - abusers should be dealt with appropriately in a criminal court and punished accordingly.

However, huge numbers of parents are excluded because of the adversarial nature of the law which makes it possible for one parent to literally take possession of a child and henceforth to use that child as a weapon with which to punish the other parent. Personally, I haven't seen my nine month old son for six weeks, apart from a chance encounter when I got to see him for a couple of minutes. If anyone is or knows anyone who might be interested then please feel free to contact me.
Damian fnfyorkshire@yahoo.co.uk